Funny Times!

KIDS...THEY SAY THE DARN-EST THINGS. HERE'S WHAT OURS HAVE SAID:

Beckett was giving me a lesson on dinosaurs..."And these are breeding dinos. Do you know what breeding is, Mom?"
"Yes Beckett, it's how you got here." - Age 7
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After a five minute conversation with Kalia... I was still perplexed as to why she wants to put "cat spit" on her face...until I figured out she meant Chapstick - Kalia, Age 3 1/2
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Putting up Christmas lights, Beckett hands me an inflatable snowman. 
Beckett- "When are we going to put "Led" up?"
Brian- "What's Led?"
Beckett- "The Snowman!"
Brian- "What?!"
Beckett- "The snowman's name is Led." He shows me the box.
Brian- "That's the kind of lights in it. They are L.E.D. lights."
Beckett examines the box. "Well... the box named him Led, I'm calling him Led."

- Age 7
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"Hey Mom, did you know that Trunk is our new president?" - Kalia, Age 3 1/2
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Kalia: "Pluto got kicked out. Now it's not a planet anymore."
Dad: "I don't understand. Tell me more."
Kalia: "The Pluto planet got kicked out. But now it's not a planet anymore. Just it's far away and it's still there. The sun is in the middle."
Beckett: "Pluto was a planet a long, long, long, long time ago."
Dad: "Like how long ago?"
Beckett: "Like in the 80's"
Kalia: "That's not the truth."
Kalia, Age 3 1/2   Beckett, Age 6 1/2
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Kalia: "Why do we take vitamins?"
Dad: "So you can get big & strong."
Kalia (in a deep Hulk voice): "Oh, so I can pick up really big rocks!" - Age 3
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As we're watching the Alex Gordon press conference, Beckett announces, "Mom, when I get to be a baseball player, I'm going to play for the Royals forever too! I have a long wait 'cause I'm not that big yet, but I'll get there!" - Age 6
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In a stern voice, Beckett says, "Kalia, are you forever Royal? Because you can't be a Royals fan if you're not forever Royal."  - Age 6
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Kalia was setting up her dishes and play food around the coffee table.
"Kalia are you going to have a picnic?"
"Yes."
"Who's invited to your picnic?"
"Beckett, Kalia..." then shrugs her shoulders.
"Is Mom invited?"
"No. Mom not coming."
Geez...already not invited to her parties. - Age 2
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Beckett was admiring a couple of frogs he found on the back deck. He came in and said, "Mom, have you ever heard of a french tree frog?"
"No. Did they tell you that's what they were?"
"No, but I was looking at them and my brain told me they were french tree frogs and their sticky feet can stick to ANYTHING! Did you know that Mom?"
His brain tells him a lot these days...or is it from Wild Kratts?
Man, they absorb everything. - Age 5
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"Mom, remember when I had fish? Yeah, they're in heaven with Sadie. You know they were really old too and died. That's why all animals go to heaven." - Beckett, age 5
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Beckett handed me his stuffed animal that looks like Sadie. "Here Mom, you can snuggle with my Sadie. That will help you to not be sad for the real Sadie." - Age 5
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2014 Superbowl - Seattle Seahawks vs Denver Broncos
Beckett's closing comments before bed, "I told you the blue bird team would beat the horses." - Age 5
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We're driving in the car and Beckett says, "Oh, like this song. This is the one they play at my soccer games.". I remind him that there is no music playing at the games. He replies... "You know germs? How they are there, but you can't see them? It's like that. The music is playing, I can hear it. You just can't hear it."

Beckett, literally beating to his own drum. - Age 4 1/2

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From Beckett... "Mom, do you want a new house?"
"What do you mean Buddy?"
" Well, when I'm a grown up I'm going to be a house builder and I'm thinking I'm going to build you one, but not until I'm grown up."
Sounds good to me 
- Age 4 1/2
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Beckett & I were watching Dancing with the Stars. The girl had on a big white dress. Beckett asked, "Is she getting married?"
"No, just dancing."
"When am I gonna get married?"
"You have to find a girl first."
"Um, I think I'm gonna marry Gramma on the farm. She'll wanna marry me, right?"
"Sure Buddy."
He proceeded to ask me about the dress I wore at our wedding...so I dug out the ol' wedding album and went down memory lane. - Age 4 1/2
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Both kids were peeing on their own potty at the same time. Kalia was following what Beckett was doing and went herself for the first time! Beckett's response was, "Get that kid a sticker!" - Age 4 1/2
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The book Beckett picked out tonight was all about responsibility. The book ended with, "What are some ways you can be responsible?" We talked about different examples... The best one he came up with was, "Even when the Royals are on Dad has to go out and mow. That's responsibility." Yes Buddy, it is. - Age 4 1/2
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"Mom, I just saw a police car with it's lights on! Maybe he's going to save someone who doesn't have any colors." Dad said, "Police have colors?" "Yeah, in their cars, for people who don't have them." - Beckett, age 4 1/2
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"Kalia, you're a really cute baby, but you don't let me play with my toys."  - Beckett, age 4 1/2
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Easter morning at church as we're shaking each other's hands saying "Peace be with you" Beckett turns to me and says, "Mom, they're saying their please and thank you's!" Yes Beckett, they sure are.  - Beckett, age 4
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"Beckett, what's that on your pants?!!" referring to the grass stains on his nice khakis from playing football. "Oh, it's grass. That means I'm WINNING!"  - Beckett, age 4
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After watching an infomercial... "Mom, did you know that I can have a rockin' body for just $19.99?!"  - Beckett, age 4
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Feeling a little under the weather today. Beckett came in to check on me earlier.
He said, "Mom, how's it going?"
"Not good buddy."
"We take you to doctor tomorrow and get you some medicine. Mom, I make sure you feel better, ok?"...as he's patting my arm.
What a guy. I wanted to give him a big hug & snuggle, but don't want to get him sick. Bummer.
 
- Age 4
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Dad, "My knee hurts. I wish I knew how to fix it."
Beckett, "I can fix it with my tools!"
I lay back and wait for him to return with one of the plastic tools that we brought up from the basement yesterday.
POW.
Beckett bangs my vice grip from the garage on my knee. I did tell him once that you could use that tool to fix about anything.
Knees are not on the list. 
- Age 4
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On the way to the doctor...
Beckett- "So.. Kalia sees the doctor first and then me?"
 Dad- "What are you going to tell the Dr. is wrong?"
Beckett-"Well, (big sigh) Kalia has been playing with my football. Maybe he could fix that."
 Dad
- "How will he fix that?"
Beckett- "Doctors fix toys so that she won't play with it."

Just got finished watching Doc McStuffins. 
- Age 4
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Beckett, on his birthday - quote of the day: "Now that I'm 4, that means I'll make better choices." Let's hope so buddy. - Age 4
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Beckett- "Who's winning? The mooses or the cats?"
 Dad- "The what or the what?"
Beckett- "Those aren't mooses and cats?"
 Dad- "No."
Beckett- "Ooooh. Those are cows! I'm sure they winning!"

Thursday Night Football: Jaguars versus the Texans. 
- Age 3 1/2
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Beckett told us that he started reading a new book. It's called, "Taking a Tiger on a Boat Ride." Also known as "Life if Pi." - Age 3 1/2
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Beckett's been learning about what the word 'thankful' means this month (November). Today he said he's thankful for tractors. I told him I bet Papa is too. - Age 3
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Beckett just said, "Go Chiefs! Get the horses!......… Wait, they just called the orange team broncos?" - Age 3
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"Mommy, will you cuddle me up?"
"Of course buddy, I'll cuddle with you." 
- Age 3
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Beckett was just telling us a story, which our response was "Really?" He says "Yeah, that's what I saw on Facebook." Oh boy. - Age 3
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Beckett was just telling me about his horses...he has 2 of them; their names are TJ & Maxx. Yeah, we don't ever shop there... - Age 3
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"Dad, wake up." says Beckett tapping my face.
"Go back to bed."

"But Kalia is up."

"No she's not."
"Yes she is. I was just touching her face too. She did not get mad. She wants to play."
I check the monitor to confirm that she is in fact up.
"Alright..." yawns Beckett. "I'm going back to bed.".
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Still working on the potty training thing...tonight Beckett yelled from the bathroom, "Dad, did you hear that? My butt is talking!" - Age 3
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Sitting in Gordman's parking lot while Amanda shops inside. Beckett sees a Silverado pull up beside us and says, "That is a cool Chevy!". I replied "How did you know that was a Chevy?". He looks at me with a blank face before pointing at the truck saying, "It says it on the truck, dad." - Age 3
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Beckett discovered that "candy cane bliss" soap from Bath and Body does not taste like real candy canes. "Aahh Dad! That's Yucky!" - Age 3
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